Fox Hunting, Prime Ministers and Lawyers..

Funnily enough, all things that were on my agenda as a child. I asked someone the other day what they had wanted to be when they grew up, I got a wry smile and a great answer. We forget, we forget the dreams we had as children, the dreams we had when we literally believed we could do anything at all, and that our mums and dads wore super hero outfits under their normal clothes (I still believe that). I wanted to be all sorts when I was little, depending upon the day, and the activity I was doing.

One thing ran the entire course of my life and that was to be a singer, as we all know, I am not, some of you are thanking god, and my Mother is shaking her head and saying 'you could be, if you tried'. Mothers, they are the best. However when I think back to some of my wishes its kind of funny to see what my little crazy mind thought back then.

My first big cause in life, and we all know I have had many many 'causes' that I get passionate about, was Fox Hunting. I came across it thanks to my horses, and in school we were asked to write about something that means alot to us. I put pen to paper to explain my horror and sadness at Fox Hunting. Dont worry at this point, I am not going to don a bunch of leaves, and start waving a placard whilst scaring horses, thats not my style. As much as I would like to hit a few of the huntsmen on the head with said placard. The pen is mightier than the saboteur and so I wrote off to my local paper, safe in the knowledge that this would ensure that they would print my letter and I would make a difference. I was 10. My belief in the world was utterly unshakeable, even though the irony was lost on me. The world would do the right thing, even though here I was campaigning against something I believed was wrong. Go figure, my 10 year old self couldnt see it. Then again, my 10 year old self couldnt see much past horses and well, horses. The newspaper did want to print my letter, they in fact rang my home to speak to me about it, and this is the part where I get to think my 10 year old self was a clever little smart ass, they also thought I was an adult. Yes indeed.

That started my desire to be a politician, I did concede that I would have to be a politician first and then of course I would be Prime Minister. Natural upgrade of course, I would be the obvious choice. I may have to wait a few years, but my first act would be to ban Fox Hunting. I never really thought much further than that, I have to be honest. My next act was to write a poem about Fox Hunting, that will show them. God my 10 year old self was awesome and fairly ridiculous.

I got a little older, and realised that potentially being the Prime Minister would be fairly hard work, note I still didnt see this as being out of my grasp, and if the truth be known, I still now believe if that had been the road I had chosen I would have made an awesome Prime Minister, with much better hair than any of them to date, thats a fact. I then moved naturally on to becoming a Lawyer. That was the next step. Not because I was interested in the nitty gritty details of law, or of justice, but because I believed that I would make unbelievably brilliant closing statements, and that all my cases would be won because no jury could possibly rule against me and my superior oratory skills. It was then pointed out to me that I was not American, that I also wasnt on TV and that being a Lawyer was possibly the hardest job ever. This put me off somewhat, not the hard work, but the lack of being able to stalk around a court and be fabulous.

I went on to various desires throughout that time, TV presenter, all round famous person, teacher amongst others, all of them really just came back to one thing, I liked to talk, and I liked it when people listened to me. Quite simple. Therefore Radio was the place for me. Why hadnt I thought of that before.

Really though, we should all spend a moment and try to remember what we wanted to be, back then when we had no troubles or worries and our dream job wasnt based on degrees, how clever we were or how much money we needed, when we could have done ANYTHING, what did we choose ?

I never even dreamed I would do what I do now, and yet this is my dream job....

Metallic Nails, Being yourself and Ladder Climbing

Having not got the best ability in the world to only think of one thing at a time. Think Billy Conolly and his ability to wander off topic and then come back with unerring accuracy, then lose the unerring accuracy and voila,  you have something similar, minus the scottish accent and beard, to me. Keep the swearing, definately. I have tried, somewhat unsuccesfully to stop swearing. I have learned to say the F word less, although it can sometimes be a knee jerk reaction. There is something familiar about it, something in a swear word that conveys what it is you are trying to say, sometimes 'oops' or 'damn it' just dont cut it. A good well timed 'F*ck Off' can just be deeply satisfying. Not when its in the wrong moment though. Not when your boss has just asked you to do something and you respond with "are you having a f*cking laugh?'. Thats when you need to go put a dirham in the swear box, and also brush up on your ass kissing techniques, or your CV writing skills. Aside from swearing, I have had a few thoughts this weekend. Namely whilst having my nails done (just call me Jumeirah Jane), and a couple of people I know said wasnt I too old for metallic tin foil colour nails ?. This gave me pause for thought, and the answer is a little complicated. No. No I am not 'too old' is there such a thing. Dont stress, this isnt the moment when I start banging on about age, and you are as old as you feel etc, because there are certain things you just shouldnt do after a certain age :

See through shoes, on second thoughts, these should never be worn, scratch that. Unless you are a MEGA star, dont wear mini skirts, ever. After 19 wearing Doc Martens with a smart outfit just makes you look like an out of work student, and never ever wear a thong on the beach. Ever. Its never good, unless you are J-Lo, and even then, they make me feel a little ill. Boob tubes are questionable, as are any kind of lame hot pants. However my nails do not fall into that category as yet, if I want to have nails that reflect the surface of the sun, then I will. If I want my nails to resemble the stuff we wrap turkey in, then that is my own damn choice, and while I like it, it will continue to happen. End of conversation. Plus I love them and they make me smile, and I have the classy version (if that is indeed at all possible).  Its about the importance of being yourself when it comes down to it, and more importantly quite liking yourself. I have a theory that no one else is going to like you if you dont like yourself, notice I said like, not love. There are FAR too many people in this country that cant walk past a mirror without giving themselves a thumbs up and a quick eyebrow raise to reaffirm their awesomeness.

I like me, there is plenty I dislike, but plenty I like, and I like my desire to have silver nails, also I dont care as I am turning old this year, and intend to stay as young feeling as possible. If this makes me behave like Katy Perry in the nail arena, then I care not.

I was considering a quick paragraph on the pitfalls of people cosying up to you for who you are and what you can achieve on their behalf. I then decided that whilst it may make me a bad judge of character, and it may end in tears (it certainly has before) I wont change my attitude to the people in my world. I wont question you, I wont look at you and question why you are in my life. This I promise. I promise I will do everything in my (limited) power to be the best friend I can be. I may fail, it has been known to happen. I will not wonder about your motivation, I will assume that your presence, however fleeting or permanent in my life is down to you and I having a connection because we have found something in one another that we like, and by that I dont mean roladexes or bank accounts. That will be all on the matter ... I am very blessed with the friends I have in my life, those who are near and those who are far, and I love them for who they are too. Mostly because they are amazing people. Sometimes its for their money and fame but mostly amazing, mostly.

Transatlantic Travels

It has been awhile since I blogged, and I have learned to be ok with that. I cant just write on demand because I have to have something to say. Right now I have nothing specific to say, its just that writing sometimes makes me feel better. Bit like music, but I’ve had to really cast my net far today to find the solace I needed in music. I have finally landed on Country music, you can laugh, but every now and then my soul needs some twanging guitar and cowboy boots in order to feel better. Its been a odd couple of weeks.

I knew that saying goodbye to a friend would be painful, but consoled myself with thoughts that I would still have phone, email carrier pigeons etc and that in this day and age a little distance isnt the end of the world. Turns out I talk bollocks, not that this is news to anyone at all. Way harder than I thought it would be. Living in the UAE you get used to people coming and going, and therefore learn to make friends fast and learn to say goodbye fast. It’s a transient place, and it becomes a way of life, you end up with friends all over the globe and that’s a good thing. Every now and again though, when you least expect it someone comes along that you never expected, with no warning and it’s instant. That person is unique, that’s when its impossible to replace.

Snoop Dogg was one of the most interesting shows I have ever worked on, in terms of working with a different kind of tour party, in so many ways. In the middle of all this, I find myself standing in the lobby of a hotel watching history walk towards me, not looking a day different for 6 years of not seeing them. No matter how you move on or change, there are something’s in this world that remain constant, chocolate will always soothe the soul, shoes will always make a girl smile, especially if they have red soles, and some people  will always look good in a suit and make you smile so big you think your jaw will never stop aching. I left the hotel feeling very odd. My world in 2 weeks has had a fairly major shift in focus, and that makes you think. The pondering I will keep to myself, as we all know how I can ramble and these thoughts so far make about as much sense as Charlie Sheen, slightly less if truth were to be told, and just without the drugs, porn stars and warlock talk.

I have been refusing to entertain a birthday this year as I do not want to turn 30, I rephrase that, didn’t want to turn 30. I have decided to stop being childish, if I am going to be 30 I should behave like a grown up. I realized that by not throwing a party in normal Maxine style just actually makes me one of ‘those’ 30 year olds. So with renewed optimism and a slightly scaled down event streak, due to chronic fatigue am going to celebrate my birthday in the manner in which it should be. Surrounded by friends, and drinking Champagne. I will however refrain from sending out the invites just yet, it is after all only May and well I get to be 29 for another glorious 3 months.

I am going to attack the rest of this year in the style of which I am proud of. I will reclaim my social status, and I will reclaim my hold on my sense of being. My kitchen is woefully underused this year, and the new cooker I bought in order to aid me with my mega cooking sessions still sits unplugged in. I am very fond of the old one, however cooking for 12 with only 1 working ring on the stove top can prove a little dicey at times. All is well with one chef, but add Mother Chef into the equation and there are just not enough electric rings to go round.

On other fronts, things are changing, noticeably my front, and rear.  I have dropped a few kilos and as such am now facing the dreaded task of the wardrobe over haul, the easy bit has been done, I have bought new clothes, interims as they are called. I then bought another set of interims as the first set got a bit baggy. This is great, a whole new set of underwear (that took some doing I have to add, aided by a surly Philipino lady and a much aggrieved mother). However I have to chuck out all the old stuff. This is going to take some doing. 6 wardrobes full of clothes that I love, but will have to get rid off. Its enough to make a girl cry. Safe to say my shoes all still fit, as do my handbags. Which to be quite frank is neither here nor there as if they didn’t fit, I would wedge tissue paper in them and wear them anyway, such does my love for my shiny feet covers run deep.

It’s been an odd few weeks, and now I am making some life plans, I have some life admin to get through, and then life will undoubtedly throw some new curveball at me and I will have to re-evaluate. Such is life.