What pushes your buttons ? Can we narrow that down even
further ? What pushes your work buttons and what pushes your personal buttons ?
Are they the same ? I doubt it. Then again, how many of us are the same at home
as we are in the office.
It is something I ponder, as I do believe I am myself as
much as can be expected at most times. However this is the rub. No one knows
you like your family right ? Then again, you spend more time with your work
colleagues. So who knows you best, the real you, and do they know which buttons
to avoid. My take on it is that the work buttons are quite well known, and your
colleagues want to avoid them, so in most cases do their best to avoid pushing
the big red button and watching the fireworks that ensue, although, sometimes,
and I have to say it is rare, risky and sometimes doesn’t work. It is worth
pushing the big red button to get something done, however the key to this is to
light the touchpaper and retire, thereby the explosion happens somewhere else
(hopefully where you had planned it) this as noted is risky and you could get
caught in the crossfire. Just depends how much collateral damage you are
willing to receive to get the desired end result.
That is where it gets complicated for my brain. For me
pushing buttons at work is only worth doing if you need a specific result, an end
a reaction that makes something else happen. There would be no good reason to
do it otherwise, that’s just pointless and not harmonious for the workplace.
The very point of teamwork is to avoid winding people up, working together and
working out how others best work to get the best results. That’s the point. Or
at least I like to think it’s the point.
Family, they can push the button for no reason at all, by
accident, by design, by coincidence. There is a slightly less worrying edge to
it, because you are family and it will get resolved, there is some level of
sibling button pushing that is expected, without which we wouldn’t learn
boundaries nor would we learn what’s important to us, our siblings. It is
sometimes quite surprising to me what sets me off. That is a learning curve,
the buttons you didn’t know you had, suddenly someone has flicked a switch and
you realize that actually you are hugely offended, and had no sign that you
might be.
Then you get to friends and partners, somewhere in the no
mans land between family and work. Not family enough to just push the button and
damn the consequences, that would imply a complete lack of care, thought and
consideration. The very basics of which your friendship / relationship is built
upon. As above these can be stumbled onto with complete ignorance, and at that
point it is usually too late to stop the process. Best to just chalk that one
up and remember it for the future.
Me ? I wont lie. I have many buttons. Some result in minor
sparkler type fireworks and some the full C4. I am still finding them as I grow
older, and also that some of the bigger buttons have somewhat decreased in size
as I mature. Ask 8 year old Maxine about Fox Hunting and all hell would have
broken loose, button deployed, stand back and watch her foam at the mouth. Ask
32 year old Maxine about Fox hunting and whilst I still feel extremely strongly
on the subject, you would have to be going some, and be quite the ignorant fool
to get me riled to the extent where I would lose my temper. However, insult one
of my friends, or much much worse, my family and I will go up like the Atlantis
hotel on New Years Eve. That’s a guarantee and quite an obvious one. My other
major bug bear is inconsistency. If you are going to argue with me make sure
you recall what you said. Make sure your story is consistent. Make sure you
have a point and you can make it, make sure you are not going to back track or
change your story or try to pretend you meant something different than what you
said originally. If you are going to say something. Mean it. Mean it and back
it up. I cannot bear to listen to half stories and explanations of, no I meant
the total opposite to what you heard. No I didn’t say that. I said something
very similar but marginally different. Another thing to add to the list. I have
(currently as I have had no kids) an amazing memory. I can quote you back word
for word. This comes from my days as a padless waitress. Sounds worse than it
actually was. But, I can, and I will. I get immensely frustrated with people
who cannot be true and truthful. People who disguise reality with half truths
and smoke and mirrors. It is probably one of the worst offences. It implies
that I am stupid, it implies I can be misled and it suggests I am easily
fooled. I am not stupid, I am hard to mislead and I am no ones fool. These
things are not hard to note.
I also have a long memory, which is totally different from
holding a grudge before all the men pop up and start claiming they are hard
done too. Women store up things like this. Not because we are mythical
creatures who love to beat you over the head with past errors, but because no
doubt the last time it happened, it hurt. Therefore it makes an impression. You
do it again, it reminds of the time before that and the time before that. So we
bring it up in an effort to show you (the idiot) that you are not learning. You
are continuing to push the big red button. Over and over again.
They say the definition of a psychopath is a person who does
the same thing over and over and expects a different outcome. Note to all of
you button pushers. If you are having the same argument over and over again,
the answer is why ? Change of behavior perhaps ?
At the end we all have buttons that can be pushed, bad ones
like I describe above or good ones. The good ones are used to manipulate, the
bad ones for reactions and the average ones in between are used for everyday
life. Because everything you say or do elicits a reaction from another person,
in some way. We push buttons all day long every day. Stop and think about the next one you intend
to push and the reaction it will get. It’s worth it in the long run.
